I’ve been suffering from worsening tics since quarantine began.
I’ve had Tourettes since I can remember. It’s a part of me, I swear a lot because of it and I can’t help it. But I consider myself lucky!
A lot of people I know with Tourettes suffer more from verbal tics than physical tics. It’s caused a lot of them a lot of embarrassment and pain.
They shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed but when you’re calling an old woman a Granny and stating that you hate her even though you don’t know her it can lead to some embarrassing situations…
Honestly, Tourettes is more common than most people think. There’s at least three people in my family alone that suffers from some form of it.
But for me, Physical tics are the bane of my existence… Sometimes at least. My tics are always worse when around large groups of people or when I’m anxious.
And today was one of those moments… For the first time since quarantine, I decided to go out for a drive.
I needed my medication. So I went in the van with my mum to get them. She went into the pharmacy while I sat in the van playing animal crossing.
And while sat there, I felt people staring at me. Probably because I was in a van and parked in a disabled bay (which we do have a badge for) – but I don’t look disabled enough – obviously (no wheelchair, at the moment).
But I could feel them staring, which actually ended up making me anxious and my tics started.
My head twitching, my head being thrown back. Shouting cunt…
I’ll admit it, I’m not surprised that they laughed. I’d laugh at me, too. I find my tics hilarious – as long as I’m not hitting myself in the head (which is what I do when I have a sensory overload or extremely upset or anxious… and it fucking hurts).
It was the first time that I’d left the house for something other than jogging in almost three months so my anxiety + tics + laughter wasn’t great. But looking back at it – a few hours later. It’s okay. I’m okay, and I feel good. It’s just another day.
At least I made people smile.